Days 184-187

You never know what can happen in life. One second, I'm sticking my thumb out at Unicoi Gap, hoping to hitch a ride 12 miles into Hiawassee, my final town stop.

Ten minutes later, I find myself in the hospital.

But don't be alarmed! I'm fine. The man who picked me up turned out to be a radiologist. I smelled so terrible that he called the hospital and had his assistants book me a room so I could take a free shower. Thanks.... I think!

Unfortunately, Hiawassee was deceptively larger than I was expecting, and I found myself quite far away from the Dollar General where I planned on resupplying. I ended up having to walk the 2.5 miles there because absolutely nobody wanted to pick me up. I ended up creating a song about my misfortune:

Everyone's got places to go, and people to see

So nobody loves me in Hiawassee

I begin touring next month.

Anyway, I finally make it back to the Trail and get some hiking in. I'm feeling great, and decide to skip this shelter and hike to the next one, an extra 5 miles further than what I had originally intended. 

Bad plan.

After an hour or so, night falls, the wind begins blowing fiercely, the temperature plummets, and I quickly realize that this was a terrible idea. I turn on my headlamp to begin night hiking, and my headlamp chooses this terribly timed moment to crap out on me and stop working. Thankfully, it's simply a battery issue, and I am eventually able to warm the batteries up enough to be able to get them working again.

I finally stagger to where the next shelter should be, grateful to be out of the biting wind in a few minutes. And that's when misfortune number twelve thousand hits me for that day.

You see, most shelters are within .1 - .3 miles of the Trail itself. Some are even located directly on the Trail itself. This shelter was located 1.2 miles off the Trail. It was the most distant shelter on the entire AT. There are entire TOWNS located closer to the AT than 1.2 freaking miles. 

Screw that, I guess I'm braving the wind.

I night-hike for another 3 miles before I eventually find a spot relatively sheltered from the wind. Grateful, I set up camp and crawl into my sleeping bag. It dropped down to a frothy 20 degrees. 

Andddd that's when the wind decided to change direction in the middle of the night and began violently gusting directly against my tent. My tent pole broke in half (again) and the entire tent collapsed on me, the walls battering against me. I run out into the cold to fix the tent poles. It breaks again 30 seconds later. The tent falls in on me, and I'm too defeated to fight it. 

"Just close your eyes, go to your happy place, and eventually sunlight will come around," I thought to myself. 

Suffice to say, it was a miserable night. I felt like the Trail had betrayed me on one of my final nights out here.

But as I awoke and stepped out of my shitty tent to witness a beautiful sunrise over the surrounding mountains, I realized that the Trail was merely giving me one final test-- and I passed. 

I smiled, soaking it all in, and began walking back to my tent to pack it up and prepare for today-- andddd slipped on a patch of ice, flew off of my feet, and landed flat on my back. 

"Okay," I thought, as I laid on the ground staring up at the sky, "NOW I passed the final test."

My tent was still drunk from the night before.

Thankfully in the ebbs and flows of life, everything always works out in the end. When I reached Neel Gap that morning, an awesome visitor came by and swooped me off to Knoxville for the night. 

Hi again Lightning! She loves pictures.

We had an awesome time in Knoxville, including an epic Punch Brothers concert and a dirty old man named Herbie, who tried to teach us sage life advice:

Josh: "So what is the one piece of life advice you would give to two mid-20s young whippersnappers?"

Herbie: "It's you, me, grass, or ass, baby."

Lightning: "Oh yeah? What does that mean?"

Herbie: "It's you, me, grass, or ass."

Lightning: "Yes, but what does it mean?"

Herbie: "It's you, me, grass, or ass!"

Lightning: ".......Still not quite following you here, Herbs." 

I tried to fit in and look like a normal human being, but I only ended up looking like the Unabomber. 

It was an excellent final vacation from my vacation. Thanks for being fantastic, Lightning. 

The next morning, Lightning dropped me back off at Neel Gap. Neel Gap is home to Mountain Crossings, most likely the most popular gear outfitter on the entire Trail-- after all, the Trail runs straight through their store. 

On the way home from the Georgia Housing Officers Conference this year, a few friends and colleagues from Georgia College and State University left some lovely trail magic for me at Mountain Crossings, including an AT pin, ice cream, a candy bar, and a nice note. Unfortunately, Mountain Crossings ended up misplacing the note, but it is the thought that counts. Thank you so much for thinking of me and wanting to leave some love, Matt and Desaree! I will wear the pin proudly.

As an outfitter, Mountain Crossings provides free gear shakedowns for hikers, and encourages them to wear lighter gear. The tree outside of the store is decorated with hundreds of pairs of heavy hiking boots discarded in favor of lighter trail runners that give less blisters.

Neel Gap is significant for another reason, as well. It is one of the first places a northbound thruhiker can get off the Trail to go home. At Neel Gap, almost 25% of intended thruhikers will quit. They have hiked a total of 30 miles at this point-- which means, for me, that I've hiked 2159 miles and only have 30 left to go. I left Neel Gap and hiked another 10 miles before setting up camp for the night. 

This morning, as I update this blog, it finally hit me: I only have 20 miles left to hike. I will officially finish the Appalachian Trail tomorrow. 

I've written 88 blog posts in the last 6 months. There will be only one more left to write: the grand finale.

Thank you all so much for walking with me on this journey. I'll see you on the other side, my friends.

-- Dirty Rotten Liar